I must confess something to you all. I am in maternity clothes again. The problem? I am NOT pregnant. And the sadder thing? I was not able to wear these clothes even a week after having the little one, because I was too thin for them. I know you are not sad for me, because you of course must hate anyone who does not need their maternity clothes so soon after birth. I understand. But I am redeeming myself now, three and a half years later, because I have to wear them now.
I keep telling myself that I should not bother losing the weight, because we’re going to try to get pregnant again quite soon, and if my first trimester is anything like the one I had with the little one, then I will need these extra pounds to lose, because I couldn’t really eat much for those first months. I never threw up, mind you (that was the lucky part), but I couldn’t stand the sight, smell, or even thought of most foods. So I lost weight in the first trimester, which gave the OB a false sense of my pre-pregnancy weight, because I was in fact thinner at that first visit, around 12 weeks or so, than I was before becoming pregnant (I was with one of those annoying clinics that won’t see you until the first trimester is pretty much over, just in case... how positive and cheery is that? And this was AFTER the first miscarriage, and I was 36, so you’d think they’d offer more monitoring, as my current OB does, but no.) I remember when I saw her on one of my postpartum visits (when I was still distinctly crazy), and she looked at my weight and said something like, “Oh, you’re doing well, only about 10 pounds to go before you’re at your pre-pregnancy weight.” And I’m all like, “No, bitch, I actually LOST weight in the first trimester, not that you’d KNOW that or anything because you assholes won’t even see someone when they’re first pregnant because you’re so BUSY and all, but anyway…” Okay, so I didn’t really say it quite like that, but I did correct her and try to explain, which fell on deaf ears.
But I’m losing my point here, which is to say that I cannot fit into any of my jeans anymore, and I have two really great suits that I can’t wear at all, and I’ve been borrowing my friends’ old fat clothes, which is SUCH an ego booster, let me tell you. I’m not going to talk numbers or sizes here, because that’s all relative. I’m short and small-boned, so if I talk weight or clothing size half of you will roll your eyes and snort in derision and tell me I have no talking room. Numbers don’t help. The relative measure that does help here is that I’M WEARING MY MATERNITY CLOTHES AGAIN AND I’M NOT PREGNANT. Need I say more?